Work/Life Balance Isn't Dead: Here's How to Get More
Don't you dare tell a life long yogi balance isn't possible, OKAY? I will fight you. And as your career coach, I'll also fight for you.
I'd need more fingers to count the number of times I've gotten in a debate with executives who can't stand the term "work/life balance," who usually instead prefer some more ambiguous, work-prioritizing phrase that was about as clear as a Tennessee summer, humidity-fogged window.
Flash forward to today, and guess what? That debate has become mainstream, with the internet locked in an endless wrestling match about what to call the fact that employees are humans with lives outside of the workplace that also requires time and attention.
IMHO, this is one of those topics where we should focus less on the vocabulary and more on solving the actual problem, but it seems we cannot ditch this discussion and land on a different term.
Because, despite hundreds of articles claiming that "work/life balance is a myth," a quick look at the Google Search trends confirms: "Work/Life Balance" is still what we're searching for to describe this need, and we're doing it in record numbers since 2022.
Pro tip: When in doubt, let Google win the debate for you. Google search trends comparing work-life balance & work-life integration, 2004 onwards.
Should we call it Work/Life Integration instead?
It appears the most popular replacement phrase is "work/life integration." According to the wise folks at Indeed, this is: "The process of combining parts of your personal life with your career or professional life. It involves giving yourself the flexibility to choose how to manage your time to work and have personal time simultaneously. Rather than treating your job and personal activities as separate entities, you can merge the two."
This aligns with the definition of "integrate, " which means "to combine one thing and another so that they become whole."
Common examples of work/life integration include:
Taking a conference call while picking up your kids
Extending your lunch break to workout
Cutting your work day short to run errands and logging back on after dinner
Answering slacks from your mid-day grocery store run
I know that this is a hot, unpopular take, but… I hate this term.
I do not want to blend my work and personal life until they are an undistinguishable whole.
I do not want to mash my personal life into the slow moments of my work day.
I do not want my job to be present in the precious moments of the rest of my existence via constant multi-tasking and availability. (Btw; multi-tasking is literally impossible at a neurological level AND harmful to your mental health)
Work/life integration is, at best, misguided and, at worst, terrible for our health, happiness, productivity, and life satisfaction.
I mean, who are we kidding? Our current "integrated" work and life setup is not working.
We're operating under a "triple peak" work-day, where it's the norm to be constantly available in the morning, afternoon, AND after dinner.
We're using technology to increasingly allow our work tasks to encroach upon the rest of our lives, with 39% of upper-income adults saying they nearly always answer work emails outside working hours.
We're not ever taking a break. Seriously, nearly ½ of workers who get paid time off don't take as much as their employer allows.
We're experiencing record-high levels of burnout.
This isn't working.
So, no, thank you, but I will not be pursuing work/life integration any time soon.
What’s the Right Alternative to Work/Life Balance?
Honestly, there's no perfect answer.
Everyone is making up their own term, with many coming up with their own off-brand label. (Don't even get me started on "work/life blend." I am not a smoothie.)
The academic world has tossed around terms like work/life conflict, spillover, crossover, and enrichment.
In my own vocabulary, I'm drawn to ideas like work/life harmony, work/life well-being, or work/life design.
Heck, why not flip it and call it life/work [whatever] for once? Why is work always first? (Capitalism, duh).
Personally, I'll be sticking to work/life or life/work balance because despite my affection for creative labels, the most popular term is still Work/Life Balance, and SEO isn't exactly a fan of coining new phrases.
But really, if you'll entertain my metaphor-loving mind for a moment, what's really so bad about the word "balance" anyway?
Work/Life Balance In the Real World
If you're picturing a banker's scale when you think of WLB, it makes sense that balance feels like a stressful and impossible goal.
So, picture this instead:
Balance, as in yoga, where mindful awareness, practice, and the occasional support of a yoga block or wall is key.
Balance as in rock hopping in Tennessee Creek, where you're wobbling through terrain on a happy adventure.
Balance as in babies learning how to sit, full of frequent spills, intervention by loved ones, and gradual strengthening of a critical skill.
Balance as in squirrels curiously exploring backyard obstacle courses in pursuit of a beloved goal (walnuts, duh).
In the real world, balance is not a rigid scale. It's a constant of everyday life, something nimble and responsive, practiced and necessary, graceful and sometimes fall-prone.
So, for me and my writing… I'm going to stick to balance.
Tips to Create Work/Life Balance
No matter what you call it, you NEED it. Here's a crash course on how to make it happen:
Customization is vital: Crafting the ideal mixture of work and your personal life is like a build your own pizza – it is better when it is uniquely designed for each individual. Research confirms what we've all suspected: we all have personal preferences regarding how work and life intertwine. Some thrive on a seamless blend, while others prefer a clear boundary. Your task? Figure out what clicks for you and commit to making it happen.
Constant fine-tuning is your secret weapon: Think of it like a yoga pose. You can't just strike a pose and freeze; you must constantly adjust. The same goes for your life-work (see what I did there?) dance. It's a moving target, shifting daily, hour by hour. Embrace the ebb and flow as long as you're mindfully assessing what suits your current needs and desires.
Recruit your support squad and keep talking: Achieving that sweet spot between balance and chaos requires backup. In your personal and professional orbits, find those allies who've got your back. Friends, family, bosses, coworkers – they're your lifeline. But remember, communication is non-negotiable. Keep the dialogue flowing, letting them know what you need, what's working, and what's not. Give them permission to be your cheerleader as well as your tough-love advocate.
Draw and enforce your lines: You know those lines in the sand? They're not just for beach trips. Defining your non-negotiables in the whirlwind of work and life is crucial. Set your boundaries and stand by them, preferably in something more permanent than sand. These lifelines signal when you're getting too close to the edge. Please don't ignore them; they're your sanity's best friend.
Automation: Some parts of the balancing act can be automated. Establish systems, routines, and habits that support your balance goals. If you're a recovering people pleaser (like me), think of creative ways to make technology (or anything else) the "bad guy." In my corporate days, I had recurring out-of-office events to politely decline meetings beyond my working hours. I could override the decline, but the default was set up to protect me and my needs. Let those emails do the talking, and give yourself some peace.
Remember to pause: Call it a midday siesta, a timeout, or a breather – whatever floats your boat. We're all humans, and guess what? We need regularly scheduled breaks. And no, this isn't just a note for your work life; your personal life deserves it too. So unplug, unwind, and give yourself that mental refresh you so deserve. It's often only in those moments when you can finally breathe that you're self-aware enough to truly check in on how you're doing and what you need.
Finding your "why" when the going gets tough: Here's the truth: time is a precious commodity, and there will be days when it feels like you're racing against the clock. That's when your "why" steps in. Why put in those extra hours on that project? Why prioritize family time? Revisit your reasons when you're caught in the whirlwind. It's your anchor, reminding you why you're investing effort into what truly matters to you.
Here's the crowning advice, courtesy of Emily Oster:
Think macro, not micro. Balance isn't about every single day being picture-perfect. It's about the grand tapestry of your life reflecting your values and priorities. Sure, there'll be days when one side of the scale feels incredibly heavy, but that's just a temporary part of the journey.
So, remember: Your goal isn't an elusive "perfect balance." It's about embracing the dynamic mix that works for you. You want to be able to look back and say, "I did the best I could, in tune with what truly matters." And yes, there'll be times when life demands more from one side, and that's okay. What counts is that you're intentionally investing your time and energy in a way that resonates with you.
Have other great tips on achieving WLB in the real world or thoughts on what the hell we should call this thing? Let me know in the comments.